They’rrrrre back!

Yankees LogoThe most evil sports team in the world is back in the World Series. It is, of course, your duty to root against the Yankees every single play of every single game. Even if the series goes to seven!

But, please, let’s not complain about their bloated payroll (I’m lookin’ at you, Freddie). The Yankees been paying astronomical sums to their players forever, but they don’t get to the World Series every year. In fact, this is the first time they’ve been back since 2003, when they lost to the Florida Marlins (a team that paid their players in ramen noodles and tuna [need that tuna for protein]).

Besides, what do you want? A salary cap? Isn’t that like communism?!

Money issues aside, it’s essential to have a stable evil empire to root against. Think of how crazy this country got when we couldn’t count on the Soviets to be our foil anymore. We don’t even know who to hate. Since the collapse of the USSR we’ve stumbled about looking for a new super villian in Iraq, Iran, North Korea, the Taliban, Al Qaeda, and Slobodan Miloševi?.

Baseball fans are lucky, they have their rock of evil douchiness. The Yankees, like Duke in college basketball, are the benchmark (of douchiness). Even if they are better than your team in a given year (and chances are they will be) you can always sleep well at night knowing that at least your team isn’t as lame.

5 Comments

  1. Ian

    What’s wrong with Duke basketball exactly? They are a private school and win a lot? I don’t think you can provide a fair and balanced opinion on them given your background.

    “The Yankees been paying astronomical sums to their players forever, but they don’t get to the World Series every year.”

    Yeah but that isn’t the point. How many years in a row did they get to the playoffs? They are in the AL East, which year in-year out is probably the best division in baseball. Look at how well Tampa had to play to get into the playoffs. You can’t say their spending is not having the desired impact. Before you respond, Boston is equally guilty here.

    “Besides, what do you want? A salary cap? Isn’t that like communism?!”

    It worked for the NFL, which is far and away the most popular professional sport in the US. Its not like there aren’t villains there. Everyone hates the Cowboys, and more recently the Patriots too. The NBA has a salary cap. Everyone hates the douche-tastic Lakers.

    Baseball sucks. The games take over 3 hours to play and there are 162 in a season, which makes each one mean very little. Selig is the worst pro-sport commissioner going right now. The Yankees and Red Sox are proof you can buy a championship. Steroid use was rampant, and the best teams are loaded with players who abused them. They used steroids, their stats improved, they got paid by teams like the Red Sox, Yankees, and Dodgers. Look at A-Rod. Dude cheats his way to being the best player in baseball and now he gets to play in the World Series for the Yankees, where he will probably be named MVP or some crap. This sport sucks!

  2. Chris

    This is why Duke sucks.

    Thanks for the epic comment by the way. It’s better written than my actual post 🙁

  3. If I read it correctly Duke good…NY Yanks good…..would this be a Duke-NC thing? Maybe I missed something if so I apologize…..but that aside….does any athlete truly deserve millions? I guess it is like politics….the best money can buy….

  4. Ian

    You certainly guessed it for Chris 😀

    I think athlete’s do deserve millions, although I almost cringe at saying that. Sports is entertainment. You consume it like any other form of entertainment and it generates billions of dollars. Certainly the people putting their physical health on the line deserve the majority cut of that money. You have to think of pro-sports players like movie stars: if you don’t put the big stars in the movie, the tickets and DVDs won’t sell, generally speaking.

  5. JM

    Another milestone in history: Ian and I agree, somewhat. Despite not paying much attention in econ class, I did follow a discussion over why certain actors and athletes are paid so highly. Pro athletes and top actors/actresses are a rare commodity and are paid extravagantly because of that fact.

    I don’t think it works out as a strict meritocracy on the acting side of things but in athletics at least you can measure performance statistics and adjust accordingly. WHy do you think there have been all those new metrics in football (pancakes anyone?) over the years? It gives agents and teams a way to evaluate players a bit more qualitatively so they get paid their due.

    I’m not saying that some of their pay packages aren’t overinflated but it’s not like we buy out failing baseball teams like we do corporations.

    The Duke-UNC thing – neighbors always hate it each other. State used to be our (UNC’s) biggest rival but having two successful basketball programs and a lot of attention helped cement the feud with Duke. There’s also a bit of class animosity there that you typically find between a large public school and a private school as well as the contention that a lot of students there are from out-of-state. It’s kind of boring not having an enemy. I guess that’s why ECU tries to go out of their way to try and have one with UNC and fail.